A friend’s recent trip to Family Court reminded me of this leg in my spiritual journey …
It was the day after Matthew’s 14th birthday – Groundhog Day – in February 2012. I was fearful a neighbour would further escalate her aggressive rants. After a consultation with the local police, I decided to file a peace bond against her. Matthew was returning to his father’s home at 4pm that Friday, February 3rd, so I kissed him and wished him well for his week with his Dad. I stepped out into the rain and headed for the Ontario Court of Justice in Oshawa.
I arrived too late to file the complaint as I was delayed by a 1.5 inch Swiss Army knife on my keychain. I dumped it – sad to lose this gift from 0ver 20 years ago – but I put my personal safety in other hands that day … I managed to get all the necessary paperwork and knew where I needed to go on Monday. I passed by the Duty Counsel offices and noted their location … but figured I would not need their assistance.
Feeling unsettled and lost, I didn’t want to go home. Friday afternoon custody exchanges were always sad when Matt was leaving. Even Carly cried mournfully as he walked out the door. She knew he’d been gone for a week. Any parent who shares custody knows how painful this is, even when you think you are doing what’s in your child’s best interests. Matt went into a “black hole” of radio silence when he was with his Dad. It was frowned upon if he called me or texted me. Heck, the kid couldn’t even go to the gym or ride his bike without his father insisting they did something together (that he liked).
This particular week, a storm was gathering and I was unaware of the clouds on the horizon. I never really know what sets the ex off – it could be anything – a perceived slight, entitlement, narcissistic rage. Looking back, it could be that he was asked to drop off Matt’s white shirt and tie for the graduation photos. Matt forgot to bring these over, and like any teenager, he delayed the task of asking his Dad for the clothing until the last minute. I was awaiting the police to discuss the neighbour and asked Matt to fix the situation himself.
He told me his Dad was very angry that he had to deliver the stuff, and in an attempt to show Matt his responsibility in the situation, I told him that it wasn’t fair that his Dad had to take time out of his evening to run these over. Matt rudely commented that he was probably just watching television, but I said it didn’t matter. I asked Matthew to put a little thought into planning ahead.
Fast forward a day, and Matt was gone to his Dad’s. I arrived too late to file my complaint and had no further Friday night plans. I decided some retail therapy was needed!
I hit the nearest shopping mall, and immediately noticed an unusually high number of mauve coloured items. Mauve is not usually on my radar, but today it seemed to dive out from the racks to scream “look at me!” So much so that I texted my best friend Terri to ask “Is mauve the new black?” Mauve coloured items were everywhere I looked.
Unsuccessful shopping expedition aborted and I went home. The police were leaving a telephone message when I walked in the door, so I hit the replay button to re-listen to their message. The answering message played all unheard messages … and one was several weeks old from my neighbour Carrie! She mentioned my birthday (New Year’s Eve!) and asked if she could stop by to see me. I called her immediately and invited her over.
Have you ever met someone and immediately connected to them at a spiritual level? This is how I feel about Carrie. She is lovely to talk to – gives lovely advice – and is a beautiful soul inside and out. We run into each other on the street and pick up like old friends catching up with each other. I often say that angels walk among us, and Carrie is one of mine. I have the deepest respect for her and her words.
When Carrie arrived, I apologized for missing her message and offered her tea.
“No problem,” she said, “I knew you would call when it was time.”
Curious, I noticed she had a gift bag. I really didn’t expect a gift, but was pleasantly surprised! Carrie sat down and began a story that will always be within me.
Back in December, she found two beautiful Selenite crystal candle holders. They were on sale for a few dollars apiece. Carrie snatched up the last two, marvelling at their ridiculously low price! She brought them home but puzzled over them for weeks … She would walk by them, touch them and speak to them. She got the distinct impression they were not meant for her. She picked them up every day and asked them who they were meant for. One day, she realized one was slightly larger than the other – perhaps they were for a mother and child? That thought immediately settled into her soul, she said. She knew instantly who they were for … Matt & me.
Carrie placed the gift bag on my floor and lifted up the two candle holders – much like the ones pictured above – and handed them to me.
“These are for you ,” she said. “They are made of selenite, which is an extremely strong crystal. They are for protection.”
She told me their story, how to care for selenite (like gremlins, no water!) but to bathe them in the light of full moons to cleanse them. I was deeply touched and told her of the issues I was having with our other neighbour. I was thankful that someone was looking out for me!
After chatting for an hour, Carrie stood up to leave and looked around “You have a lovely home” she said. “I love your cranberry walls. Mine are mauve. Everything I have is mauve. It’s a deeply serene, calming colour.”
“Aha!” I exclaimed! “It was you who was calling to me!” I told her of my earlier encounters with mauve. She nodded sagely and said, “Everything happens for a reason.”
Alone again, I placed the selenite candle holders together – touching side by side – in my bedroom and said a little prayer of thanks for the gift and the protection. They were beautiful and unique.
Little did I realize that within 24 hours, the situation with Matthew and his father would escalate beyond control. I had no inkling until Sunday that Matthew was in trouble, and a chain reaction of events would lead up to an astounding second trip to the courtrooms Monday morning. We rode at dawn. This time not to stop an unruly neighbour in her tracks, but to get emergency custody for my son. The first place I went was to the Duty Counsel’s office – the office I noted on Friday – to find out what I had to do. I was the first name on the signup sheet.
Those few days altered our lives forever, thankfully under the watchful protection of those candle holders – together side by side – for over four years. That Friday, that weekend, that Monday … they were turning points in my life. I was passively watching life – just trying to catch my breath – and had to dive back in, head first.
My son has not seen his father since, except for a few skant visits in a court-ordered therapist’s office. His Dad has never reached out, never asked how he is, never said “What does he want for Christmas?” And he doesn’t financially support Matt. I do. All by myself.
We’ve done the best we can, these last four years. I thought less and less about the candleholders and their protection. Matt turned 18 last February and seems to be on track with his life. He’s still not sure what he wants to be and delayed University, but he is a good kid and I know he will figure it out.
Then – July 2016 – A new neighbour – popped into our world. Sheila is another single Mom with two sons. I didn’t really know Sheila – we’d bump into each other while I was out walking the dogs and chat pleasantly about the weather and other polite topics. But the candle holders spoke – God spoke – and I sensed that I needed to give them up. This thought would curl around in my head like a flame every time I saw Sheila.
Uncharitably, I thought that I wanted to keep the beautiful candle holders, but I rejected it immediately. I have been trying to live my life understanding that by giving away, we receive many more blessings. I understood deep down that these crystals are special, and were not mine to keep. Carrie would instantly agree and understand why they are meant to be passed along … I like to believe that the lives they will touch and the stories that will be attributed to these special crystals will be an amazing testament to love, triumph and courage. And protection. Offering our fellow beings the cover of our protection when they most need it … is that not a gift from God? I knew I would pass the candle holders to Sheila.
I just wasn’t sure how to explain to my new neighbour that they were meant for her.
One night I ran into Sheila, and noticed she had a copy of the Four Agreements tucked into her bag. “That’s a great book,” I said, and instantly knew this was my opening … she was following a path I had been down. I told her the story of my candle holders and uttered the same words to her that Carrie spoke to me years ago “I’m not sure why you need protection, but these crystals are meant for you.” Tears welled in Sheila’s eyes as she hugged me. She nodded and said yes, this was a trying time for her youngest son.
It was weeks before I saw her again, but I knew the time had come for the crystals to leave.
I packed them up, said my thanks and wished them well on their journey. I ran over to Sheila’s and as I handed them to her, she spoke eerily similar words that Carrie said to me “I knew you would bring them when the time was right. And tonight is the night I need them. My family is feeling broken.”
I told her how to care for them, and that someday she would be ready to let them go so they could continue their journey to someone who needed them. I hope that she will. I hope than she feels strong enough to one day release them to someone who needs protection more.
Like love, prosperity and good wine, these crystals were meant to be shared. Sometimes you have to set something free … it will come back in a different form … a little twist of a favourite teenage poem:
If you love something,
Set it free.
If it comes back,
If it doesn’t,
it never was.
Do crystals really harbour protective spells? I’m not sure – and that may be too close to magic for some – but I like to believe that putting the thoughts, beliefs and intentions out there make the difference. It worked for us.
It is my wish that these special candle holders always move forward to find those who need them most.
P.S. I never did get a photo of my selenite crystal candle holders! A shame because they were unique and beautiful. I will have to ask Sheila for a photo.
ETA They came back to me in March 2017! They were screaming to come back so Sheila brought them over. This time, they are staying. Thank you, Carrie. I will purchase new ones for Sheila.
© Lisa Jobson 2017