Adieu … à la prochaine fois

It started with a lonely little post in a Facebook forum I frequent … “I’ve been given my walking papers, so to speak.  I have four to six weeks left” is all it said.  While I don’t know the poster personally, my heart skipped a beat in fear for my Triple Negative Breast Cancer sister….

Lesson 7 ~ “I only see the past”

Humans are obsessed with their future. We want to know what will happen tomorrow, the day, month, year or decades after that.  We read horoscopes, visit fortune tellers and try to predict the stock market.  We are less capable adults if we don’t plan ahead for rainy days, education funds and retirement. I spent a…

Lesson 6 ~ “I am upset because I see something that is not there”

“I am upset because I see something that is not there.” Search your mind for a moment and find what is bothering you most. What are you feeling?  Name the form of upset you are experiencing: Sadness:  depression, despair, disappointment, hopelessness Anxiety:  fear, worry, concern, nervous, panic, dread Anger: irritation, frustration, annoyance, rage Shame/Embarrassment Guilt…

Lesson 5 ~ “I am never upset for the reason I think”

I had to let this lesson for today sit with me awhile. And remind myself of the research I did into the psychology of abuse.  The abuser’s overwhelming need to control comes from a place of fear.  The root of anger is fear.  It may look like fearlessness, but it isn’t.  It’s usually a warning…

Lesson 4 ~ “My thoughts do not mean anything”

Whoa.  Wait.  What? But my thoughts talk to me all day and night?  They are prisoners in my head.  Each human has this complete vortex of thoughts, feelings and emotions swirling non-stop silently inside them. What do you mean they mean nothing? My real thoughts are being blocked out by my good and bad thoughts? …

Lessons 3 ~ “I do not understand anything I see”

This lesson from A Course In Miracles was tougher for me because I try to understand everything, even when I don’t understand it.  Especially when I don’t understand it!  It’s my inquisitive nature. But this lesson is necessary to tear down the walls of what we think we know. I know nothing. We view everything…

A Course In Miracles ~ Lessons 1 & 2

Several days ago, I read a book called A Course In Miracles I found it via my usual route … a winding path on a journey to enlightenment through philosphy, theology and science.  I don’t believe they are mutually exclusive, yet struggled to find my place in the world of religion. As part of that…

Out of practice

Phew!  I am so out of practice that stringing words together and typing them into a document requires my full concentration … which is quite difficult when you are busy living, loving and laughing.  Where has the summer gone? I’ve been so busy enjoying BBQs, beaches, craft beer and a boy that I have barely…

Standing On Thin Ice

This piece of flash fiction was written for Chuck Wendig’s Flash Fiction Challege: Pop Culture Mash-Up Edition I chose – by random number generator – #15 The Stand by Stephen King and #20 The Bible.  What, pray tell, do these two books have in common other than their epic size?  A significant amount of their…

It was a dark and stormy night …

Few opening lines are as infamous as Edward Bulwer-Lytton’s much maligned sentence.  Even if you’ve never heard of him nor his novel, you’ve read his parodied phrase.  It embodies bad writing. “It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent…

Solitude

I crave solitude. Which is quite the about-face for a confirmed card-carrying Extrovert.  In the final quarter of 2017, my world spiralled out of control, careening from side to side like a car spinning on ice, bouncing from one concrete life barrier to the next.  I had to stop and get off the rollercoaster to…

Scanxiety

I was back at the Cancer Centre last week for my six month post-treatment checkup with my oncologist.  Just over a year ago in April 2017, I had never set foot in the (old name) Oshawa Hospital, or what I have affectionately renamed as the Lakeridge Health Oshawa Spa.   The Ajax-Pickering Hospital was closer to…